Match Reports

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Definition of "Maladroits"

Not adroit; clumsy; inept; awkward.



Maladroits mauled by the Jaguars

James Fisher reporting

  • v Jesmond Jaguars
  • Southbank University Ground
  • Sunday July 27th
  • lost by 157 runs


Jesmond Jaguars 315-6, Maladroits 160 all out


The Southbank University Sports Ground in Dulwich was to be the venue for what was widely regarded as the Maladroits toughest fixture of the season against the Jesmond Jaguars.


Early signs were however positive – the surroundings were lovely, it was a gorgeous summers day and a record 8 Maladroits were present at the appointed meeting time of 12:15. Unfortunately this was as about as good as things were going to get…


Brewer won the toss but after a gentleman’s agreement with the Jaguars captain elected to field in order to ensure that the match was not over in two hours. Unfortunately this decision meant that Maladroits had to steel themselves for 40 overs in the field in the searing early afternoon heat. Moore and Newman opened up the bowling and both performed solidly in the very beadlike conditions with Moore eventually finding an early breakthrough.


Sydenham continued the promising early start by forcing two mistimed drives which fell into the safe hands of a well positioned Capon. At this stage, with the opposition at 80-3, there was hope for the Maladroits that the Jaguars could be restricted to a chaseable total. Unfortunately, a 100 partnership between Frost and the Jaguars captain began to take the game away. As sweating levels grew in the field, there was little to cheer the Maladroits apart from occasional weak attempts at throwing the ball in from the boundary from Fisher – in fact, this seemed to keep both teams entertained for most of the afternoon.


Eventually the partnership was broken as Frost was run out by a smart piece of work by Andy Ward and shortly afterwards Capon accounted for the Jaguars captain. However, any hopes of keeping a lid on the opposition’s score quickly vanished as the Jaguars controversial policy of having a team packed full of 'proper' cricketers continued to be rewarded – each new batsman appeared to be just as, if not more, competent than the man they were replacing. Their number six in particular took a shine to the Maladroits bowling, helping himself to a half century in a mere five overs. As Maladroits began to flounder in the heat, Jaguars accumulated a mammoth total of 315-6 in their 40 overs. Brewer picked up the final wicket after one of the Jaguars was trapped LBW.


Tea was gratefully taken and proved to be an unhealthy but enjoyable affair of sandwiches, pizza, garlic bread and cakes.


And so Maladroits were faced with a rather daunting chase of 8 an over to pull off an improbable victory. Big scores were required from the top order if they were to get close but hope amongst the ranks began to ebb away when Maladroits witnessed the field placings for the opening bowlers - 5 slips and a short leg. Yes, the Jaguars had been a step ahead again by having a couple of handy opening bowlers in their team. To make matters worse, they were backed up by a rather keen fielding unit who seemed intent on diving, chasing and encouraging their colleagues – very un-Maladroitesque behaviour.


This combination was able to put a strangle on the Maladroits scoring rate, restricting them to 3 an over for the opening ten overs, and with the early loss of the two key wickets of Watts and Nicholson, the game was more or less up. Brewer and Ward formed a strong partnership for the third wicket with the scoring rate being stepped up and Brewer in particular looked in good touch out in the middle. Alas, when he was caught for 27 the writing was on the wall. Ward was able to accumulate a well deserved 50, however wickets continued to fall regular intervals.


As the Jaguars rather sportingly allowed some of their batsmen to have their annual bowl, the only real question left was whether Maladroits could get halfway towards the Jaguars total. This minor achievement was achieved but when Britten fell with the score at 160, it was left up to Newman and Fisher to attempt to score 155 in seven overs.... not an impossible task, but pretty close. Four wild swings from Newman later the game was over.


A disappointing defeat for the Maladroits but they are unlikely to face such strong opposition for the rest of the season.


Andy Ward (50 and a run out)
Scouse (for dedicated fielding but the arm of a girl)
Benjo Capon (2 catches)

Brewer- in good nick for 28

Moore- 8 overs straight through in 35c

Sydenham- tidy bowling