Player Profiles

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Definition of "Maladroits"

Not adroit; clumsy; inept; awkward.



v Menorca (saturday game)


  • Menorca
  • 24th May 2008
  • Lost by 4 wickets
  • Weather- Overcast with a hint of bead

A After a heavy night sampling some of Menorca’s finest “wrestling juice” some of the Maladroit players looked distinctly worse for wear as they arrived in dribs and drabs at the fine home of Menorca C. C. Special mention must go to Tricky’s car for having no idea where they were going, and also Edwatts for being sick out the car window. He also had to ask for the car to be stopped by the side of the road to get it all out of his system. Rubbish. When skipper Boozer won the toss and decided to bat, it was more out the hope that some of his players could recover than taking advantage of the conditions.


Lees and Lock opened the batting and looked reasonably comfortable in the opening overs as they faced pace from one end and a dobber from the other. Locky hit one fine cut for 4 but soon departed for 6 when he missed the 1 pitched up delivery from the Sri Lankan pace man. Carrington followed next and didn’t hang around as he wafted airily at a wide one and was smartly stumped. Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall (Rod) was the next to go as he edged on behind for 6, although it virtually took a digger to remove him from the crease after his obvious nick.


It took the arrival of a hungover Ryder to provide some stability to the innings. Looking as rural as ever, Ryder struggled to focus on the ball and his first 10 runs came from edges. However, the longer he batted the more comfortable he looked and the runs started to flow from the middle of the bat. This became even more important when Lees missed a straight one after the drinks break and departed for 33. Boozer was the next to arrive and also looked to be positive from the outset with some delicate deflections and hard running. The partnership looked promising until Boozer departed for 13. Ryder had really started to tick at started to deal in boundaries with some great shots.



Edwatts followed his dismal display so far by getting a goldie and trudged off the field accompanied by the scorers’ imitation duck noises. Edwatts looked so rubbish that if he was an animal he would have been put down out of kindness. Westy hit 6 off 3 balls until he skied a catch and the familiar Maladroit collapse was well and truly in motion. Some intelligent batting from Ryder ensured that the score crept up to a defendable total, but a shocking umpiring decision saw him run out on 61 after a fine innings. The tail of Gumbo, Dom and Tricky hit some valuable runs before the Maladroits finished on 158 all outs. It looked a slightly below par total that could prove hard to defend.


After the tea interval (third of a baguette with a choice of tuna / cheese / ham. Good condiments though) the team took the field motivated by skipper Boozers words in their ears during the (1 st?) team huddle. Ryder opened the bowling and took the first Menorcan wicket in his opening over as he looked to turn back the years and bowl with the hostility of old. Mustaq bowled a tight line from the other end and was able to get a little swing going away from the right handers. Ryder struck again in his second over and the Maladroits sensed that there could be a game on here. Indeed, it could have been a whole lot better for the team if a catch had not just eluded the Stone-drifting Gumbo at fly slip, and Lees had taken and easy chance in the slips.


Menorca started to build a partnership through their influential captain, but an inspired double change from Boozer saw further wickets fall. They could not have been more contrasting spells as JC probed the batsmen’s technique from one end and Edwatts sent down dross from the other that saw him walk away with 2-11 from 2 overs after 2 smart catches in the covers. JC was unlucky not to finish with better figures than 1-27, and it is the finest spell that this reporter has seen him bowl for the Maladroits. Ryder returned and picked up another wicket with his last ball to cap a great all round performance and finish with 3-36 and the MOTM award.


At this point with Menorca 6 down the game was delicately placed but the new batsmen dug in and resisted some strong bowling and fielding. Special mention must go to Skipper Boozer behind the stumps who took 2 catches and didn’t concede a bye and collected the Fielder Of The Day award. Great commitment was also shown by Locky and Rod in the field as they tried to put pressure on the batsmen. A couple chances went begging and runs started to flow again. In desperation Boozer threw the ball to Lees, who doing his impression of Eddie Hemmings got an LBW decision only for the close fielders to bring the man back as apparently the inside edge could have been heard in Majorca. Great umpiring Chad. From the very next ball a catch went down (Tricky) and the game ebbed away from the Maladroits.


The Maladroits showed impressive resilience in the field and allied with some tight bowling made a decent game of it. They fell down by making the school boy error of not batting their full 40 overs and this was to tell in the end as Menorca were able to judge their run chase and come out winners in the end. A fine days cricket was had by all and set the team up for another night out in Menorca, more details to follow………

Ed Ryder (61 and two wickets)
EdWatts (TFC and poor chat)
Boozer- behind the stumps
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