Match Reports

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Definition of "Maladroits"

Not adroit; clumsy; inept; awkward.



Anything England can do Maladroits can do better ..


Scouse Fisher reporting

  • v Fulltossers XI
  • Bellair Park
  • Saturday August 7th
  • Full Tossers won by 51 runs


Full Tossers 216, Maladroits 165 all out


A slightly dubious council pitch in Dulwich was to be the scene of Maladroits attempt to secure their 7 th win of the season against new opposition in the form of the Full Tossers. Impressively all the Maladroits arrived on time, despite certain members of the squad initially heading to East Sheen before performing an abrupt u-turn.


Under sunny skies, Brewer won the toss and as is standard at this time of year, elected to send the Maladroits into the field to ensure the maximum amount of bead could be extracted from the team.


Whilst the opposition on the boundary kept everyone up to date with Australia racking up a mountainous score at Headingley, the Maladroits settled into a promising start. Norman-Butler and Nelson kept things very tight for the first 8 overs, restricting the Tossers to 23/0.


Familiar failings soon began to engulf the Maladroits however as several catches went down and the Tossers began to accelerate. Brewer’s effort at diverting a simple catch out of the hands of Chad at slip was particularly noteworthy.


Sadly as the openers began to find the boundary with some regularity, Bowden attempted to take a catch on the rope which ended up in an ugly dislocation of Mark’s little finger. Hopefully Mark will be back playing soon and we wish him all the best – at the time he was doubtless chuffed that Bealo felt the need to start taking pictures of the injury like some warped member of the paparazzi.


The Tossers very generously donated a replacement fielder and sure enough, the benefits of having someone who can catch were soon reaped when he took a fine catch on the boundary to claim the first wicket off Auld’s bowling with the score at 105/1. This shifted the Maladroits into some action as they found a new way of taking wickets by serving up some iffy deliveries which the batsmen managed to spoon straight to the waiting fielders. A further three wickets were taken for the addition of only 20 runs and suddenly the Maladroits were back in the game.


The Tosser’s middle order however dug in and continued to keep the scoreboard ticking over despite some tight bowling from Lees. Some good work in the field by Daniell created a run out and then some fine bowling in his second spell from Norman-Butler saw a further 4 wickets fall. Eventually the Tossers closed on a total of 216 which appeared very chaseable…


Sadly there was no tea to report on. Whilst Maladroits were keen to get on with the game in the absence of any food, the majority of the opposition disappeared to the local café for over half an hour, delaying an increasingly agitated Lees from getting his innings out of the way so he could stare at some dinosaurs.


Eventually play resumed and the Maladroits looked in fine touch as they raced to 73/1 off 10 overs with Lees the only casualty. Carrington in particular had taken a liking to the small boundaries and had raced onto 41 before he eventually skied one. Things were looking optimistic on the pitch whilst on the sidelines Fisher was marvelling at the electronic scoring software – clearly the future for scorers everywhere. Even the news from Headingley was slightly less doom-laden as England had reached 54/0.


Sadly the inevitable England collapse was more than matched by the Maladroits who contrived to lose their last 8 wickets in just under an hour. Norman-Butler and Brewer had offered hope that the mediocre change bowling from the Tossers would be punished. However when Bealo contrived to get out by reaching for the widest delivery in history and dragging it onto his stumps, hopes began to fade. Brewer then departed first ball after drinks attempting to drive their one quick bowler out of the ground and promptly seeing his stumps demolished.


It was now really just a matter of time before the end, especially as the opposition insisted on bowling out their quickie, much to the disgust of the Maladroits tail who had to bat under lids. Moore hit some fine boundaries which would have pleased John Anderson in a quick-fire 16. Once he had departed however not even the presence of Big Mike being drafted in wearing his finest summer regalia could stop the defeat. It was all over when Fisher hit one to cover as the Maladroits were all out for 165.




Match Summary


Phil NB- 4 for 29

Fielder of the Day

Leesy- for a cracking Catch


Scouse- for getting out as soon as Mikey turned up as the 11th man..

Quote of the Day

"Bucket Bowden, as our best catcher can you go and field at Cow Corner" Captain Boozer